The Best Thing Ever

Last night my heart finally caught up with my head in admitting that the Sox will not be returning to the postseason this year. Ever since it started to sink in, beginning last Sunday, I have been in a rather strange mood. It is somewhere between a cross of depression, appreciation, bittersweetness ( I do not think that is even a word, but you get my point), frustration, and who knows what else.

Depression

It is easy to pinpoint the cause of the depression. As a Sox fan, winning is always going to be the most important thing to me. Despite the fact that the Sox will once again finish with a winning record, anyone with an ounce of sense knows this season was not what it should have been. Yes, I wanted to see the Sox repeat as champions, but I know how hard that is to do. So what I really desired, and this was a reasonable desire, was for the Sox to make it back to the playoffs. Hard to believe for a team that has been around as long as the Sox have, but they have never made the playoffs in back-to-back years. I thought this year would change that.

Another cause of the depression is that I know that baseball is almost over for me this year. Though this season has not ended the way I wanted it to, every game I was at this summer was completely worth it, even the two losses. Though it pained me to watch the game last night as the Sox lost again, I kept the tv on because I know within a couple of days of the season ending I will be going through serious baseball withdrawals. In many ways, I am already going through it now. When do pitchers and catchers report? I am ready for 2007.

Appreciation

I am also feeling a deep sense of appreciation and wonder at what I was privileged to experience last year. The fact that baseball is such a strange game that even repeating playoff appearances is difficult, let alone repeating as champions, has made me finally realize what a great accomplishment the ‘05 team was. I watched the Sox Pride DVD last night with a perspective I had not used before, mostly because I did not have it. Whenever I watched it before I was caught up in the emotions of 2005, but last night I got to watch it with all of the emotions of 2006 as well, and it made me look at it a lot differently. The fact that the 2005 team gave me the ability to wake up every morning for 12 months, secure in the knowledge that my team was the World Champions was pretty much the best thing ever. Though my disappointment in this season overwhelms me at times, I constantly remind myself that last year is still the same. It cannot ever be taken away. “World Series Champs ‘05. You can’t ever take it away from us. It’s the best thing ever.” That was said by AJ Pierzynski during the Parade on October 28 of last year. He’s right. I will be able to wear my World Champs merchandise for the rest of my life. The year 2005 will always be our year, and even if and when the Sox win again, nothing can ever be like it.

Bittersweetness

There is not too much to say about the bittersweet feelings I am experiencing. The Sox turn as the reigning World Champions is about the come to a close. The bittersweet feelings are a result of the year ending, as well as a regret about what this year should have been.

Frustration

Again, not too much say other than the frustration is caused by what this year should have been. There are so many things one can point to in order to demonstrate specific things that could have or should have gone differently. If any one of those things had been the way it was supposed to be, who knows what would have happened instead. A bunch of “ifs”--if the starting pitching had been there in the first half, if the hitting had been more consistent, if the defense had been better by having Anderson out there every night, and the list goes on.

All of this just goes to show what a great sport baseball really is. Every year there are surprises, disappointments--even the worse teams will have great moments to look back on at the end of each season. You never know which year will end up being really “the year.” Mine came last year on the best day of my life, October 26, 2005. Hopefully I get another within my lifetime, but the fact that it has happened at all really is “the best thing ever.”